Scream Queens Episode 5 Pumpkin Patch

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The Chanels meet with a party planner with an ambitious model of the Haunted Pumpkin Patch and Maze for the world’s most obscure charity, Black Tongue Disease research. Demonic cherub ice sculptures peeing a combination of Red Bull and vodka, faux jack o’lanterns and a delightfully simplistic maze made of… corn stalks? Chanel Oberlin throws a fit until she gets her wish; an exact replica of the wintry hedge maze from “The Shining” complete with knee-deep snowdrifts.

Maroon 5 and Fergie (both the pop singer and the Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson) are hired to perform at the event, and Chanel picks out high quality themed costumes for her minions. The girls will be going as the bereaved Wives of Fallen Presidents. She casts herself as Jackie Kennedy, Chanel #3 as Lucretia Garfield, #5 as Mary Todd Lincoln and #6 as Ida McKinley. A furious #3 changes her costume to Nancy Reagan.

A music video like title sequence begins with stylized images of the cast in fear of the Red Devil. It’s cool to look at, but why does the show suddenly have opening credits out of nowhere?

Dean Cathy Munsch has a meeting with the gathered frat boys and sorority girls. Gigi and Wes attend as well. The Dean elects to close the entire campus on Halloween night to prevent further violence. That means no Haunted Pumpkin Patch! Nooooo!

Chad Radwell gives a rambling speech opposing the Dean’s decision. He cites the opportunities Halloween provides for girls and guys to dress super slutty, the courage of armless frat brothers who are still ready to party and ends with this gem: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And in this case, serial murders.”

Cathy pretty much sums it up.

“I have no idea how you got into this college.”

Chanel, deeply troubled by this latest development, writes an email to her potential party-goers that the fundraiser will go on on November 1st at midnight, once the Halloween curfew is concluded.

Chanel #5 bakes toenail cookies for Trick or Treaters. She’s unhappy with being disrespected of late and is angry at Miss Oberlin. Hester begins manipulating her into turning against the head of Kappa by way of the vote for presidency. It works. The two then enter Jennifer aka Candle Blogger’s room, which is filled with ant farms connected by plastic tubes and truckloads of lit candles. Jennifer is wearing a large red ant mask as she blogs about her insect pals. It’s both funny and slightly creepy.

They win her vote by revealing that Chanel O. has a stash of candles she has only used once and discarded.




Chanel takes a test with an Asian man in the next seat. When questioned by the professor, Chanel explains that this is “her Asian” who assists her with math or science tests. She is nearly thrown out of class before a police detective arrives and arrests her for the murder of Miss Agatha Beam. WTF! The three remaining Chanels and Jennifer watch impassively as their fearless leader is put in the back of a cop car and whisked away.

Zayday wakes up in a dimly lit concrete hole. She screams for help while above her the Devil moves through an Evil Lair filled with weapons and spare masks. He throws open the hatch door and leans down holding a small dog in a reference to Buffalo Bill in Silence Of The Lambs. Zay shrieks and the trap door is slammed shut.


With Chanel # 3 now the boss, the KKT sisters have a brunch of imaginary food, twirling their forks around nothing and savoring every bite.


Grace and Pete approach them for help in finding Zay. The Kappa girls are bored with the whole situation, and suggest that if Zayday successfully escaped the Devil’s lair on her own, that would go a long way towards proving her a worthy sorority president. Grace decides to seek aid from her father Wes, who is having sex with Gigi (a salad date, they call it.) when his daughter and her boyfriend walk in on them. Awkward! After much embarrassment and fumbling, Wes agrees to help.

In prison, Chanel Oberlin forms a new posse of bad girls, one of whom followed her on Instagram and got Chanel-o-Ween gifts before murdering a gas station attendant. Chanel is promptly bailed out by #3. Hester and Jennifer tell Chanel that #5 informed the police about Miss Beam as part of a power grab.

Cathy and Hemphill relax in the Dean’s office and talk about blackmailing students into sex. We learn that Denise also had sex with Chad Radwell, and it involved role-playing. Cathy takes out a decanter of scotch as Gigi, Wes, Grace and Pete enter. Denise has been put in charge of the investigation into Zayday’s whereabouts and teams up with the others.

Cathy learns that Gigi and Wes are a couple, which does NOT please her.

Chanel #5 suits up as Jackie Kennedy before being confronted by the recently sprung Chanel, also dressed as Jackie. #5 denies telling the police anything. She is told to go prepare the pumpkin patch and refuses out of Red Devil fear. Chanel threatens to tell Roger and Dodger that #5 masturbates to Dora the Explorer in her bedroom if the jack o’lanterns are not lit at the Pumpkin Patch.

Our heroes plus Denise have a strategy meeting. They remotely access Zayday’s cellphone and get the address where she is being held.

Time for a rescue!

We finally meet Roger and Dodger, who help #5 light the fake pumpkins. Curiously, the two brothers whisper to each other and then hide in the mouth of the hedge maze BEFORE the Red Devil appears with massive hedge clippers, leaving the fifth Chanel alone at first. In the snowbound maze, Roger and Chanel go one way and Dodger another.



It isn’t Dodger’s lucky night and the Devil claims another.




In the basement of the old house where Zayday is being held, Denise arms everyone with tasers and decoder rings. The group finds the mysterious lair and a table set for two with Zay’s favorite snack food and goblets of wine. They also discover the now empty pit.



Gigi and Denise split up and find a morgue like chamber with hanging weapons. The Devil switches the power off and dons night vision goggles, stalking Denise and Gigi. He reaches out and touches Denise’s hair just like Buffalo Bill did to Clarice Starling in 1991. The creak of his leather costume causes Hemphill to tase Gigi, who in turn accidentally tases the Devil.

Denise runs for help and returns to find that the Devil had escaped and left Gigi unhurt.

Wes calls the cops while Grace and Gigi finally bond.

Back at the Kappa house, Chanel calls for an emergency vote for president. As the girls are about to choose their next leader, Zayday bursts in. She says the Devil tried to woo her with flowers and her favorite food, but she stabbed him with a fork and escaped his clutches.




Grace shows up and confirms her story. The sisters of KKT vote!

Gigi walks through the autumn night alone. Or is she? The Red Devil appears and draws close.

They have a one-sided conversation.

Gigi: “You’re late. That got way outta hand. He’s gotta go. Do you understand?”

The Devil nods.

Gigi: “Good. Take care of it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a salad date with a very special someone.”

She walks off and the Devil flees, dramatically flapping his cape.

I’m assuming the out of control fellow they are discussing is Boone. He hasn’t been seen since waking up in the morgue in the first episode, before presumably donning the costume as the second Devil killer. We know Gigi is the Hag of Shady Lane who raised the Kappa baby, and we know that baby was a girl. Was Wes Gardener the father of that baby? Did his girlfriend and the mother of his child die in that bathtub in 1995?

It’s possible. Boone could’ve easily dressed up as the Devil and attacked Gigi and Wes in the Kappa house before fleeing while they claimed Dean Munsch was responsible for the attack.

Wes may blame each of the Kappa sisters from 1995 (hence the death of poor Mandy Greenwood in her lonely trailer) and most especially Cathy Munsch for her role in the cover up.

Is Grace really the Kappa baby? And how is Boone connected to all this? Why did Roger and Dodger hide as if they knew the Red Devil was going to appear?

So many mysteries!

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About Brundlefly Joe

Brundlefly Joe has acted in a few zero budget horror films, including playing the amazing Victim #2 in the short film "Daisy Derkins, Dogsitter of the Damned! (2008)." He has been busy creating film submission for Project 21 and other Philadelphia based film groups. Joe went to college for Film and Animation, and has made several short animation and film pieces. He loves to draw and paint and read; sometimes the same time! His passions include 1980's slasher movies, discovering new music, gobbling up Mexican food, buying stuff on Amazon, chilling with his lovely cat, watching movies involving Marvel superheroes, playing video games and cooking. He loves to cook. Like, a lot. Seriously. Brundleflies have four arms. He can cook two different dishes at the same time. He's great to have at parties. Just don't ask him to tenderize your food. He might get the wrong idea and go all Cronenberg on your plate.
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