We open on Chanel’s insanely huge bedroom, where Chad Radwell is describing his recent stress over the pregnancy of Hester to Chanel #6. She clears things up: 1. Hester was never pregnant 2. Chanel killed her anyway.
Chad becomes steadily excited, especially when he learns that Hester’s body is in the meat locker. Time for a really sickening threesome, he thinks.
Like everything else in the meat locker, Hester’s body has vanished.
“Is this meat locker a wormhole to an alternate universe or something?”
Chad points out that Hester is probably not dead and now out for revenge.
Gigi is stuck in her hotel room the morning of Thanksgiving with the masked and silent Red Devil killer, making decorations for the Thanksgiving holiday. In the aftermath of Boone’s murder, the Devil is a little sad. Awww.
Room service arrives, complete with an electric carving knife. The bellboy gives the costumed Red Devil a frightened glance before departing. Gigi hands the carving knife to her minion and the killer holds it almost thoughtfully, black eye holes fixed on Gigi.
Chanel #3 arrives at her family’s mansion for the holiday. In voice-over, we learn of #3’s distaste for her family’s gatherings. She is enthusiastically greeted by her mother, who apparently had a thing for Charles Manson years before. Her family doesn’t care much for her fear of being murdered by the Red Devil. They’ve started drinking early and #3 is late. She is told to sit in the back row of the stadium seating arranged before a set of six gargantuan televisions.
After settling in to a frozen turkey dinner made by her family’s company, #3 revolts and blocks her father’s view of a football game. She questions her family’s tackiness and the fact she has spent the last three weeks dodging a serial killer and no one has asked her about it. She leaves angrily.
She arrives back at Kappa to the sound of knives chopping. Dean Munsch just slaughtered Tiburon, the turkey she pardoned on campus the day before. After being uninvited to Thanksgiving at her in-laws, who correctly think Cathy slaughtered her husband, the Dean decided to use the best kitchen on campus to make a feast.
Wes checks the turkey in his apartment before calling Grace, who is not going to Oakland with Zayday after all. They chose to stay behind and have an Orphan’s Thanksgiving with the Dean and #3. Gigi is nowhere to be found, so Grace invites Wes over.
At the Radwell compound in the Hamptons, Chad’s father Chad and mother Bunny raise a toast to Chanel, the not so secretly unwanted guest at the table.
“Welcome, Chanel. Chad hasn’t mentioned you. Ever.”
Bunny announces that the Radwells are one of the oldest bloodlines in America, and then questions the history of Chanel’s family name. Chanel happily explains that one of her ancestors signed the Declaration of Independence, but on the back of the document as there was no room on the front. The Oberlins came to America on the Mayflower.
Bunny is unimpressed. She shuts Chanel down by revealing that the Radwell clan came over 30 years before the Mayflower. Faced!
Thad Radwell, Chad’s younger brother, is thankful for the lax indecency laws in Eastern Europe that flood the Internet with hardcore pornography, which raises the bar on stuff girls feel they have to do now.
Chanel is horrified.
We meet Muffy St. Pierre-Radwell and her husband, Chad’s older brother Brad. He is thankful for his incredible success at Accentuated Artists, a talent agency in LA.
Chad stands up and says he’s thankful for the mercy of the Red Devil. He’s happy to not be murdered. When Bunny makes a comment about Chad’s future girlfriends after Chanel, the co-president of Kappa has a fit.
The family butler steps in and announces that one Hester Pritchett has just arrived.
The hell?
Neckbrace is in the hizzy?
Sure enough, the recently frozen Hester walks in and shoots a dagger glance at Chanel.
Chad announces that Hester is his sober coach. In heated whispers between Hester and Chanel, we learn that the neck brace saved Hester’s life from the fall, and the hard cool floor of the meat locker may have realigned her spinal column.
Hester then raises a toast to the baby that isn’t growing in her womb. After voicing her anger towards Chad two “gold digging hoochies,” Bunny explains that the family has a legal team that makes paternity claims go bye-bye. She then mocks Hester’s pooh belly, one of the five reasons that Chad refused to take her home with him to Thanksgiving.
Back at Kappa House; Zayday, Chanel #3, Grace, Wes and Cathy cook dear departed Tiburon.
In the dining room, they decide to play a game where each says who they think Boone’s costumed partner is. Cathy chooses #3, calling her Baby Manson. During the chainsaw attack at Kappa, Munsch woke up and rushed to the door, where she saw Chanel #3 rushing up the back stairs, covered in sweat. #3 explains that she only uses the downstairs bathroom for fear of being disturbed. And she sweats a lot.
It’s #3’s turn. She immediately nominates Dean Munsch.
Back in the Hamptons, Chanel calls her mother from the bathroom for advice, but Happy Oberlin is too drunk to help out. Mr. Radwell shows up with a massive checkbook and offers Chanel a pay off if she leaves Chad forever. He mocks her “trashy” outfit and calls her family trash, as well.
Has this man ever MET Chanel?
He wouldn’t like her when she’s at full diva power, and that time is rapidly approaching.
Chad introduces Hester to Leftover Aspic ala Radwell, a hideous mound of puréed Thanksgiving leftovers molded into a gelatin mountain. Chanel enters, informing Chad that his father just offered her $50 grand to leave. Chad thinks she should as well.
At Kappa House, Chanel #5 arrives with her famous Eight Meat Stuffing: venison, rattlesnake, buffalo, spam, beef, alligator, rabbit and goat. Munsch digs in. #5’s family left for the Maldives and forgot to tell her, leaving her alone for the holiday.
Number 3 launches into her case against Cathy; the Dean hates sororities– Kappa in particular. Since she couldn’t get rid of KKT through legal means, she began killing them off one by one. So says #3!
Grace and Zayday jump on the bandwagon, pointing out that Munsch could’ve easily raised the babies on her own as dangerous pawns to get revenge on Kappa for the death of a pledge in that bathtub 20 years ago. Then Chanel #3 drops the bomb.
She witnessed Cathy eating lunch outside at the coffee shop recently. Her meal? Potato chips, a pickle wedge and a delicious bologna sandwich. Wait, Dean, don’t eat that! You’ll go into anaphylactic shock from the sulfites, remember? Oh, right. She lied.
#5 then points out that her stuffing is packed with sulfites and so is the red wine Cathy is drinking. Wes interrupts the girls. He thinks the killer is his own daughter, Grace! Has he had too much of the wine?
#3 and #5 suddenly latch on to the idea that Grace has been running around campus in a big rubbery devil suit, murdering folks. Because Grace’s mother elected to leave the pledge in the tub to ultimately die, Grace wanted to create an even bigger boogeyman to erase the shame she felt over her mom’s actions.
Pete appears. It turns out Zayday has been live Tweeting all night, so he knew the girls were having a feast at Kappa.
Wes continues outlining his suspicions against Grace. She was the only pledge not buried up to her neck the night Deaf Taylor Swift died, and the only one besides Pete who knew how to find Mandy; the Kappa sister living in a trailer in the woods. Soon after, Mandy was dead. Also, Grace’s class visit to Wallace University coincided with the date Melanie Dorkus was spray tanned with acid.
Numbers 5 and 3 remember Grace from that day.
In flashback, Grace wanders the halls of Kappa House as Chanel Oberlin is getting bitched at by Melanie. She runs into the poorly dressed prototypes of #3 and #5, prior to their Chanelizing, who advise her that pledging KKT won’t be easy.
Also, back when Wes used to secretly follow Grace for her protection, he saw her speaking to a Red Devil one night. It turns out to have been Pete! He was wearing it to gather info on the killer by showing people what the costume looked like.
Munsch speaks up. She thinks Grace is evil, too. Pete put in his vote, he thinks it’s Wes.
In the Radwell parlor, a game of Pictionary is about to begin. The teams are simple: the entire Radwell family, including Chad, versus Chanel and Hester. The Radwells cheat from the beginning and the first clue is “Neckbrace Whore.” Sheez.
Chanel stands up. She apologizes to Hester for the attempted murder, and then apologizes for having had to endure another minute more of the horrific Radwell clan. Then she turns on the family themselves.
“No one deserves to be spoken to like that, particularly by what is without a doubt the most awful family in America. Chad, your leathery excuse for a mother looks like an ostrich hide clutch from last season that somehow learned to talk. And Mr. Radwell, I have never seen anyone spend so much money to make a house look this tacky. I’ve honestly seen more tasteful décor in a Sizzler.”
She breaks up with Chad for maybe the last time and walks out, followed by Hester.
At Kappa House, Pete lays out his case against Wes. Because Grace’s father wants to keep her safe, he used the Red Devil guise to slaughter Kappas to make the sorority seem dangerous in hopes that Grace would leave.
Pete takes out 1995 year books from Wallace with photos showing a drunk Wes inside the secret tunnels beneath the house, which meant he would’ve known how to enter undetected even if the house was locked down. Furthermore, Pete also hacked into the secret cameras in the meat locker to see who was removing the bodies. The footage shows Wes spraying paint over the lens. It turns out he’s on a diet and can’t afford expensive meats, so he took the frozen chicken and beef stored for KKT since the girls don’t actually eat.
Pete stole Wes’ hair and bribed a coroner with weed to get a sample of Boone’s locks. The Maury Show ran a DNA test and Wes is the father of good ol’ Boone.
Upstairs, Grace and Wes talk it out. Wes had no clue he was Boone’s fathers or that his children were murdering people on campus. Downstairs, Chanel O. arrives with Hester, telling tales of the horrid Radwells.
It’s turkey time!
Just as the group is about to bring out Tiburon, Chad slides in. Though he really only came for the turkey, they kiss anyway.
Chanel pulls the cover from the sterling serving plate, revealing not a succulent turkey but the severed head of Gigi Caldwell. The Queens scream.
Right before the turkey is served, three characters are out of the room. Chanel #5, who brings the covered dish in from the kitchen. Hester, who went to find one of Ms Beam’s carving knives. And lastly, Dean Munsch, who runs off to the powder room to freshen up.
